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July 1, 2008
Jared Campbell
-- ed.
[Title Page]
BY A WILD IRISH WOMAN,
AUTHOR OF "THE HOUSE THAT QUEEN CAROLINE BUILT,"
And other Fugitive Pieces.
I PRAY you, good folks, of all ranks and degrees,
Take a peep at my Lantern, but first pay your fees;
When that is accomplish'd, tho' the inside is hollow,
I'll shew you past, present, and what is to follow:
Then be not surprised that I put in my claim;
Each trader is paid, and I ask for the same.
In old fashion'd times the Parsons' were paid
To pray for all Sinners, Wife, Widow, or Maid;
I'll begin with the past.—There's Brunswick's Princess
That lands in Old England; how the people do press
To offer their Homage; with her beauty they're charmed;
Their Joy is so great, she seems quite alarmed:
But she soon is informed it's the way that John Bull
Does welcome a stranger—and her carriage must pull.
She comes up to London 'midst shouts of applause,
She's tied by her wishes as well as by laws.
The Princess is shocked, she feels jealous fears,
Her Parents are absent—she can't help her tears;
Her brain is on fire,—(while the wretch who has told,
In secret rejoices that the Bridegroom is cold:)
She looks all around with grief and dismay
To find the aged fair One her Lord has in pay.
Move your eyes to the right, and then you will find
This Syren is rising all arts o'er his mind,
Lady J.
To banish affection, to destroy his good name,
To lure him to misery and the loss of his fame:
She assures him his wife is both vulgar and vain,
To see him thus tied has caus'd her much pain.
Let water keep dripping, or running along,
It will make its impression tho' the stone may be strong;
For the heart that's assail'd, tho' in a bad cause,
Will yield at the last against reason and laws;
So Love, who is blind, throws at random his dart,
And the charms of a Grandmother claims all his heart.
The Princess now finds she has a new claim
To the love, and the pity, and every soft name
That Nature can urge in the breast of a Man;
But to rouse up those feelings cannot answer the plan.
This Calypso each day some new tale she invents:—
Complain to your mother—the victim consents;
Listeners and Peepers never hear any good of themselves.
A daughter is born—the nation's delight,
The people now hope that all will be right;
For rumours had gone—it was buzz'd in their ears
That quarrels had happen'd—the Princess shed tears;
It was hoped this dear pledge might harmony bring
To the breasts of her Parents, their Country, and King.
Observe well this scene:—they now part for life,
One twelvemonth scarce past since she first was a wife;
For no claims of kindred, or persuasion of friends,
Can plead in his heart—no, her bosom he rends.
Look straight through this Lantern, you clearly will see
The wretches who forfeit their soul for a fee.
The Prince is advised to have a Committee,
To prove that his wife had sat on a settee
With a British Commander,*
the friend of her spouse,
Surely Britons your hearts and your feelings will rouse.
As I'm press'd much for time, I can't tell you all
The wretches advanced that sought her downfall;
Sir S. S.
But her sweet little cherub sat perched up aloft,
Defeated their views and their malice was scoff'd;
The heads of the gang were forc'd to abscond,
The people all vow'd they should duck in a pond.
Now this storm was over, we hop'd she would rest,
But no such intention was found in their breast;
By providence will our late good old King
Was seized with his illness; sad tidings to bring
To a heart that was torn already with grief,
This last sad affliction could have no relief.
Her enemies now they in secret assemble,
To hatch up new plots, they say she shall tremble;
But all the new tales their spies can invent
Are treated with scorn, too mean to resent;
Their malice and hatred are always the same,
They defeat their own ends, and play a wrong game;
The light in my box can but feebly expose
The different ways they disturbed her repose:—
Ye mothers of heroes, who in Spain and France
Made your enemies shake like St. Vitus's dance;
Ye mothers of maidens, in all your sweet bloom,
Ere a tyrant husband has caused a sad gloom,
Appeal to your hearts, it's Nature's great cause,
Could Nature submit? it's against all her laws.
Like a poor hunted hare that is chased by the hounds
From valley to valley tho' quickly she bounds,
While this Princess was travelling, amusing her mind,
Her foes too at home were busy to find
Some rascals most famous for a filthy job,
As their bosoms for vengeance still wickedly throb,
And Plutus, that God they so fervently love,
Is to shower down riches on their heads from above.
Impressed with the thoughts that the shower of gold
Will pay them the loss of that honor they've sold,
40 Francs each for good staunch Witnesses; Fortunes may be made.— Instruction at the Commission Warehouse, "Qui en veut."
The Milan Agent letting the Cat out of the Bag;—for Particulars inquire of Vilmarcati, Brown, and Rastelli.
They stop at Milan very nearly a year,
They collected their budget without any fear;
They knew it was welcome, no matter how gross,
Tho' the bolus was bitter, she must swallow the dose.
How lost to the feelings that Britons hold dear,
To draw smiles from a woman instead of a tear;
Her foes are so busy, they scarcely can dine,
In obstructing her journey; they impose a strict fine
On Ambassadors, Consuls, and all our court folks,
If they offered their houses, they loose their work'd coats.
I know not what turn to give to my glass
To allow you to see those figures that pass:—
There's Britons in tears for a loss that's so great
That my eyes stream afresh the sad tale to relate;
The young Princess, alas! we must weep for her fate,
Has expired in the arms of her tender lov'd Mate;
The subject's too awful, I cannot dwell long
On the grief of the Nation, so lasting and strong.
Both Mother and Child—'twas Heaven's decree
Not one to be left—what short vision have we:
But Time's lenient hand that softens the darts
Which misfortune throws to wound our weak hearts,
And religion, that comfort and solace of life,
Has shed her soft rays o'er the mind of this wife,
Now childless—sad truth—self-banished from home,
Amongst strangers for peace was forced to roam.
Our good old King George, if you look through the glass,
Has departed this life—his soul has just pass'd
The Mother and Child were both dead, and the Prince had published his letter to Sir Richard Croft, stating his satisfaction of the Doctor's conduct.
To regions above, where his claims do ascend
As a Husband, a Parent, the Princess's friend;
Will ensure him a place near Heaven's High King,
To meet his reward, and with angels to sing.
Expresses were sent to inform the new Queen,
All hail to her Majesty:—but too plainly seen
That no change of life can soften her foes,
They pursue with fresh rage wherever she goes;
The prayers of the people she now does require;
The church has refus'd them, by special desire.*
Her Majesty now has made up her mind,
A home in Old England she wishes to find.
She sends to the Ministers, and bids them prepare
A yacht and a palace with speed and with care;
But instead of complying and providing the best,
They send her a courtier, not to sleep or to rest,
The Bishops' having ordered her name to be struck out of the Liturgy.
But with speed full as swift as a spirit of air
He must find out the Queen, and bid her prepare
To return to the spot she first did set out,
For that England no more she must take in her rout;
What! does her Husband pray her to go and sin no more? No.—Go and indulge your appetites; continue your adulterous intercourse; and you shall be furnished with ample means for living in splendor with your Paramour.
And a Lady,*
whom History ever will
tell,
Was a friend to the Queen, if she rose or she fell;
Embarked in the cause, without wish to gain,
And flew to her mistress with joy and with pain;
For she knew the reports, and she heard of the bags
That were fill'd with the Oaths of Italians in rags.
Then those valuable friends arrived just in time
To hear the long speech his lordship did chime;
As well as the letters that pass'd between him
And Brougham, whose heart was fill'd to the brim.
Lady H.
But our Gracious Queen Caroline ask'd no advice,
She ordered her carriage, was off in a trice;
So eager was she to get to her home,
That her horses were covered all over with foam.
In Calais arrived, that moment she sought
If a vessel was ready, or one to be bought;
To England she'd come, and at once would declare
Such a tale of their arts as wou'd make Johnny stare.
So great was the hurry of Brittain's sad Queen
That she ran up the ropes as a Sailor she'd been;
And took instant possession of a vessel, to carry
Her and her friends, not one moment to tarry;
For she knew that her foes would never consent
Her coming to England—their schemes would prevent.
As the vessel approached, and the standard was seen,
Thousands flock'd to the shore to receive their own Queen;
The bustle, confusion, joy, and surprise,
Was so great that their spirits did mount to the skies;
The crouds still increase, the roads are all full,
If she'd let them, to London her carriage they'd pull;
They know that her heart could feel for the poor
If you told a sad tale, of relief you were sure.
With shouts of applause they convey her along,
Long live the Queen! was the multitude's song,
How great my distress I hardly can show,
For our Queen had no home, nor no place where to go;
Tho' the people are taxed to support them in state
That throw away thousands—its hard to relate.
Those demons with speed make a fine bill of fare;
She's served with a notice: her lawyers prepare
To defend this much injured and high minded Queen
From the crimes they invent, but never were seen;
And Brougham and Denman, whose talents are rare,
Has commenced the defence—all success to the pair!
Addresses from all the districts in town
Were presented, and by the Lord Mayor in his gown;
It is highly gratifying to the feelings of the Moral, and Religious, in these Kingdoms, to find so many of the respectable, well-informed, and public Characters of Distinction in the Community, paying their tribute of Condolence and Respect to their much injured Queen: while so many of the Nobility, Gentry, and Clergy, stand aloof, through fear of giving offence to the Prosecutor; thereby inflicting a degree of punishment on the accused,

through proved innocent, even against the conviction of their own consciences, and in the face of the Divine law, and the established Religion of their country. Oh! ye Bishops and Clergy, how will ye answer this at the great Day of Retribution? Never more preach, that Charity covers a multitude of Sins; but that Lust and Malice cover a multitude of Virtues.
Tho' the poor are so taxed, yet they still will tax more,
They'll force them to pay, and heap their own store;
To please their great chief, and to answer their end,
The groans of the people to the devil they send;
And they'll raise the full sum, fifty thousand a year,
To spend as she likes sans shame, and sans fear.
This glass can't expose the feelings that rose
In the breast of the Queen; tho' you may suppose,
What sensations were her's when they offered a bribe
They hoped she wou'd take, and rejoice the whole tribe:
But Providence gave this much injured Queen
A judgment that happily saw thro' this scheme;
When the ministers saw that their plan was rejected,
They call'd in fresh help, and the law is dissected:
They bring in new bills, and pass into laws
Whatever they want to support their own cause;
While the Queen is refused what her council desire,
A list of the wretches who are brib'd to conspire.
Here's a fine solemn scene!—I pray do attend;
If my glass don't show clear, I'll speedily mend:—
See the grand preparation in Westminster Hall
To crown our King George—Alas they all fall
Alas! what a change is under one roof,
The Queen's to be tried by villainous proof
In a court we supposed would protect all our laws
Our ancestors' fought for, and gain'd such applause.—
At last the day came, the Peers' are prepar'd,
To try their own Queen, who at first had declar'd
She'd appear in the house, and hear all the oaths
Of villains who swore what decency loaths.—
This Reign portentous has commenced, with Plots, Conspiracies, Eclipses, Revolutions far and near, Adulteries, Oh! name them not;—but mark the Wrath of Heaven denounced against this Hell conceived Plot; a Plot devised 'gainst Law, Religion, Justice and Humanity.

'Tis most remarkable there was also an almost total Eclipse of the Sun on that day; as well as the dreadful Storm of Thunder and Lightning, which commenced just as the Attorney-General began to open his case; and which was so alarming as almost to stop the proceedings.—Would to Heaven the Voice had been attended to!!!
Ask them whose lustful purpose it was to serve? whose plans to secure? when projected, contrived, and planned? Ask them, if poor Old George's Knell was not the signal for attack? shew them the dreadful promise of result, and then to Dinner with what appetite they may.
At present thus stands this affair, that's the cause
Of emotions that's sanctioned by public applause.
But I've promised to show you what now is to come:
Look! the people are dancing to the sound of the drum;
For the Queen is acquitted in spite of the oaths
Of wretches who live by the lies they depose;
The shouts of the people drown their infamous voice,
The witnesses speak, and all England rejoice.
The Queen is acquitted! my glass tells most sure;
The people are happy, from rich to the poor;
Then Britons protect and defend her just cause,
You have daughters and wives—beware of new laws.
The Publisher thinks it perfectly consonant to the spirit and intention of the preceding Poem, to add the two following Letters; and as any attempt of his to introduce them would appear contemptible, after reading the eloquent manner, the argumentative and convincing language used by Mr. Brougham, in introducing them to the House of Peers in his summing up—a Speech, declared by the House generally, to be the most masterly, in every point of view, ever delivered in that house: take it, therefore, in his words:—
"I now hold in my hand a document of inestimable value—a document which I cannot behold without awaking in my bosom some feelings of regret at the melancholy recollection, that the venerable Sovereign, whose hand had traced it, was now no more. But this his recorded opinion proves how high was the opinion which he entertained of the person whom he thus affectionately addressed; whom he, who was no inconsiderable judge of the human heart, knew best of all, and whom he, of all her family, most duly estimated,
"Windsor Castle, November 13, 1804.
"MY DEAREST DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AND NIECE,"Yesterday I and the rest of my family had an interview with the Prince of Wales, at Kew. Care was taken on all sides to avoid all subjects of altercation or explanation, consequently the conversation was neither instructive nor entertaining; but it leaves the Prince of Wales in a situation to show whether his desire to return to his family is only verbal or real, which time alone can show. I am not idle in my endeavours to make inquiries that may enable me to communicate some plan for the advantage of the dear child. You and I with so much reason must interest ourselves, and its effecting my having the happiness of living with you is no small incentive to my forming some idea on the subject; but you may depend upon their not being decided upon without your thorough and cordial concurrence—for your authority, as mother, it is my object to support.
"Believe me, at all times, my dearest Daughter-in-law and Niece, your most affectionate Father-in-law and Uncle,"That was the language of that great and good
The House expressing a wish that the letter should be read—Mr. BROUGHAM read as follows:—
"Windsor Castle, April 30, 1796.
"MADAM,"As Lord Cholmondeley informs me, that you wish I would define in writing,
the terms upon which we are to live, I shall endeavour to explain myself
upon that head with as much clearness and with as much propriety as the
nature of the subject will admit. Our inclinations are not in our power,
nor should either of us be held answerable to the other, because nature has
not made us suitable to each other. Tranquil and comfortable society is,
however, in our power; let our intercourse, therefore, be restricted to
that, and I will distinctly subscribe to the condition which you required
through Lady Cholmondeley, that even in the event of any accident happening
to my daughter, which I trust Providence in its mercy will avert, I shall
not infringe the terms of the restriction, by proposing at
"My Lords, I do not call this a letter of license, as it has been termed. It is, however, such a letter as was calculated to remove all suspicion from the mind of the person who received it, that her conduct would ever become the object of unceasing, unsparing, most unscrupulous scrutiny."
How little our ancestors' thought about gold,
Once farthings were coin'd, and for guineas were sold,
But the coin that is now the people's delight
Is a bright half-crown piece, that is dear in their sight.
When the Queen makes her innocence fully appear,
What magic she'll have, how her foes will all fear;
At her presence a castle shall fall at her feet;
And a pool, that now foams, shall be sunk six feet deep:
From the reason now given to refuse the Queen's plate,
Tho' Ministers' conscience are working of late;
It's hop'd they'll return all the gold they have spent,
That belongs to the Country,—who says it was lent